


I Put My Hand In

by HoofbeatsOrThunder



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Killer Frost Knows Best, Season 5 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 10:05:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17826644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoofbeatsOrThunder/pseuds/HoofbeatsOrThunder
Summary: AU where Harry never lost his intelligence and left.Killer Frost is tired of her other half pussy footing around when it comes to her feelings for Harrison Wells and decides to do something about it.





	I Put My Hand In

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from a song of the same name from the musical Hello, Dolly!

The ring of the alarm through the Cortex of S.T.A.R. Labs, as common of an occurrence as it may be, still startles Caitlin from work on her most recent project and, judging by the shrill yelp from across the room, Cisco as well. Quickly making her way over to the console, Caitlin falls in alongside Cisco and feels the rush of air up her back that signifies Barry’s speedy entrance.

  


“What have we got?” Barry asks, already dressed in his scarlet suit and restlessly bouncing on his toes. Caitlin wonders briefly if he’s been impatiently waiting all day for a distress signal to be picked up, just to have something to do, but Cisco’s voice interrupts her wandering thoughts.

  


“Meta attack near the edge of the city,” Cisco says in a rush, typing frantically on the console. A moment later, grainy security feed pops up on the screen. From what Caitlin can tell, it seems to be from a lab of some kind, but the video is clear enough to see a handful of people cowering along the wall in the background as another person tears wildly through the contents of the various work benches and shelves visible in the room. “There’s an unknown number of people still trapped in the building and I have no idea what kind of powers we’re dealing with here.”

  


Almost simultaneously with Cisco’s statement, the meta in the video destroys a wall of equipment with blast of ice, only just missing one of the hostages in the line of fire. Caitlin feels a small bubble of resentment from the corner of her mind where Killer Frost holds court. _How….interesting_ , her counterpart’s voice whispers in her head. 

  


“Ice powers? Seriously? There’s only enough room in this city for one temperamental Elsa, and that position is already full.” Cisco mutters indignantly, and Caitlin almost agrees, though she might be a bit biased. She feels a sense of entitlement to that particular branch of meta abilities, even if it’s on the behalf of her other half.

  


Barry turns to her with a tilt of his head. “So we just need to bring along our own cold-powered secret weapon,” he says. “But what about the hostages? Killer Frost and I can handle the meta, but we need to get the civilians out of the line of fire.”

  


“Just leave that to me.”

  


The trio turns to see Harry in the entrance of the Cortex, gun slung over his shoulder, and Caitlin ruthlessly squashes down the rush of excitement she feels at his appearance. It’s nothing personal, she rationalizes, it’ll just nice to have him beside her in the field, knowing he’ll cover her back and be a reassuring voice in her ear. Harry so rarely goes out with them to fight rampaging metas; it’s just a pleasant novelty.

  


_Keep telling yourself that, Caity. Maybe one day you’ll even believe it’s true._

  


Caitlin fights back the flush burning up the back of her neck, Killer Frost’s commentary threatening to send her thoughts about Harry down thoroughly inappropriate avenues. _We’re just friends, we’ll only ever be friends_ , she thinks back, her mental tone overly defensive even to her own imagination.

  


It’s Barry that brings Caitlin back to the present as he nods and says, “Alright, so Caitlin and I will handle the meta, and Harry will handle minimising any collateral damage. Cisco, you’ll be our eyes in the sky.”

  


“Aye aye, mon capitan!” Cisco swings back around to the monitors, preparing to get an exact location for a breach to the scene of the attack.

  


Harry glances at Caitlin, blue eyes intense in his scrutiny of her. “Whenever you’re ready then, Snow,” he says in the same low rasp that always makes Caitlin’s stomach twist with a familiar heat. Caitlin forces herself to break eye contact, her heart beginning to race from both the prospect of the upcoming fight and from the feelings Harry’s heavy gaze always stirs. 

  


Closing her eyes, Caitlin feels the cold creeping into her limbs and lets the transition flow like an icy river through her body. In the half-second of limbo between Caitlin Snow and Killer Frost, she thinks, _Good luck. Make us proud._

  


Stark grey eyes blink against the light of the Cortex and blue lips pull into a sly grin. “Oh, I’ll do you one better than that, Caity.” Frost eyes Harry with a smirk and a coy tilt of her hips. “Let’s go show this poser who the real Ice Queen is, shall we?”

  
  
************************  
  


The fight goes about as smoothly as can be expected for Team Flash, which is to say not smoothly at all. Harry manages to successfully remove the hostages from the scene but not without a very close call when the meta tries to bring an avalanche of ice and engineering equipment down on Harry’s head. Only a quick intervention from Frost had saved him, but he’s left with very little time to process the considering look the white-haired woman sends him over her shoulder as she diverts the attack with a well-timed icy blast. “Watch yourself, Harry,” she snarls when she turns back to the opposing meta, a pair of ice daggers forming in her hands as she charges back into the fray.

  


When the last of the civilians have been moved to safety, Harry returns to the lab where Barry and Killer Frost have the meta surrounded. The Flash serves as a distraction while Killer Frost sends blast after blast at the meta, who seems to be getting increasingly frustrated that he’s being outmatched. Harry lifts his gun, ready to intervene if needed.

  


With an angry shout, the meta raises both hands and send a massive arc of ice directly at Killer Frost. Harry watches as she only barely manages to meet the blast with an wild burst of her own, the two streams meeting midway and exploding outward. When the steam and fog clears, both metas lay unmoving on the ground.

  


Harry rushes to Frost’s side, heart in his throat. Across the room, Barry speeds over to the prone perp and slaps a pair of power-dampening cuffs on his wrists. Satisfied that the crisis is averted, Harry returns his attention to the woman laying before him.

  


He presses two fingers to her neck, going nearly weak with relief when he feels a strong pulse under Frost’s unnaturally cold flesh. Harry clears his throat harshly and glances over to Barry. “She’s fine. Get him back to the Pipeline, and I’ll worry about getting the two of us back to the lab.”

  


With a nod, Barry grabs the still unconscious meta by the collar and speeds away in a streak of lightning. Taking a moment to breathe deeply and recenter himself, Harry looks down the woman next to him and feels a tightness in his chest. 

  


Clearing his throat once more, he grasps Frost’s shoulders, giving the woman a gentle shake to try and rouse her. “Come on, Frost. Nap time’s over.”

  


Quicker than Harry can compute, icy hands lash out, gripping him by the back of the neck and dragging him down with dizzying speed and strength. Forced onto his hands and knees to keep from crushing her, Harry finds himself caught in Frost’s unflinching gaze, her grey eyes blazing with an emotion that he can’t remember ever seeing on her before. She smirks, eyes tracing over his own presumably dumbstruck features.

  


“I suppose I can see the appeal.” Her fingers tighten around the hair at the nape of his neck and Harry has to struggle to keep his composure. Even if this isn’t truly Caitlin, it’s her face below him, her hands on him. He fights against the shiver threatening to crawl up his back, though it’s uncertain if it’s because of the close contact with Frost’s frigid skin or because he wants desperately to press more of himself against her. “Just know that this isn’t entirely for my own sake. And that if you do _anything_ to hurt Caitlin, I’ll make you regret ever setting foot on this Earth.” 

  


Compromising position briefly forgotten, Harry stares, unable to comprehend what she might mean. “I don’t unde-” 

  


Frost crushes her mouth to his, halting his words and his entire train of thought as her lips move savagely against his own. He does shiver now, feeling her cold breath invade his mouth, her fingernails scraping across his scalp.

  


Harry’s mind screams at him to stop, that this isn’t Caitlin kissing him even if it’s painfully close to the desires that he never allows himself to express, and almost in conjunction with his thoughts, he feels the cold drain from Frost’s lips. The kiss gentles, and Harry tries to pull away, truly he does, but the younger woman’s fingers are still tangled in his hair, anchoring him to the spot. 

  


The white of Killer Frost’s hair recedes to Caitlin’s normal brunette curls, and then her eyes snap open, and they’re most certainly the warm brown color of one Dr. Caitlin Snow. She breaks off the kiss with a sudden jerk of her head, eyes going almost comically wide as she registers just what exactly is happening. Harry is frozen above her, as though he’s still trapped in Killer Frost’s icy grip.

  


“Harry, what-”

  


It’s the horror and confusion is Caitlin’s voice that breaks him from whatever stupor holds him in place, and Harry moves away quickly, as if burned by her mere proximity. He runs a hand through his hair, but he can still feel the impression of her fingers on his scalp; he roughly musses the dark locks, trying to shake the feeling, to forget how it felt, to make himself stop wishing she hadn’t come to her senses and stopped.

  


He gets to his feet and paces a few feet from her, but the silence is suffocating. Harry turns to her, tries to speak, to explain his unforgivable behavior, yet the words won’t come and he simply goes back to pacing.

  


“We should get back to the lab,” he says eventually when she fails to break the oppressive silence growing between them. Caitlin gets to her feet, unsteady for moment until she regains her bearings. Harry fights the urge to place a hand on her elbow, instead clenching his fists to keep from reaching out to her. He reaches up to the comms unit in his ear and buzzes for Cisco to provide them a breach home.

  


Caitlin hasn’t looked at him once since he distanced himself from her. Guilt settles in his stomach like a lead weight, and he feel himself practically beginning to unravel. He’s ruined everything, and this isn’t just some busted piece of equipment that he can piece back together.

  


A breach opens across the room, and Cisco pokes his head through. “Hey, slowpokes, you planning on actually coming back any time soon?”

  


“Coming, Cisco!” Caitlin practically bolts for the breach portal, jumping through without a single glance in Harry’s direction, and Harry follows in her wake. 

  


Something about his expression must be off because once he’s through the breach and standing once more in the S.T.A.R. Labs Cortex, Cisco gives him a calculating glance, the younger man’s dark brows drawn together. “Everything alright, Harry?”

  


Harry presses his lips together and moves toward the door, wanting nothing more than to reach the relative safety of his workshop. He needs something to do with his hands, a project to occupy his thoughts so that his mind will stop replaying that kiss.

  


“Fine, Ramon. Everything’s fine.”

  


Harry can still feel the ghost of Caitlin’s mouth against his own. After everything that he’s been through on this God-forsaken Earth, he thinks this might be the thing that drives him mad.

  
  
*********************************  
  


It takes Caitlin approximately fourteen minutes after returning from the mission to convince herself that running away to save herself the humiliation of seeing Harry again is hardly logical and is bound to backfire in one way or another. It takes another twenty-three minutes to fight off an impending anxiety attack when she realizes that it’s very likely she will, in fact, have to see Harrison Wells again very soon, since they work and fight against metahumans together on a fairly frequent basis.

  


Groaning into her hands, Caitlin collapses onto the couch in the lounge where she’s currently hiding. 

  


_I would have thought you’d be a little bit happier about this sort of development._

  


Caitlin flinches, surprised to hear Killer Frost chiming in with her own opinion about the current disaster that is her life.

  


“Why would I be happy about this? Harry is never going to be able to look me in the eye again after you practically forced yourself on him!” Her embarrassment slowly gives way to a low, simmering anger. “Why the hell would you do something like that?”

  


_Don’t act like you haven’t wanted to do that yourself, Caity. I was just moving things a little beyond the glacial pace you’ve been setting._

  


Caitlin huffs in annoyance. “Seriously? You try to ruin my friendship with Harry, and you’re throwing out cold puns?”

  


_You could be a bit more grateful, you know._

  


“Grateful?” Caitlin almost doesn’t recognize her own voice, her tone shrill and offended by the very idea that she should be thankful for her counterpart’s actions. “What is there to be grateful about? Now Harry is going to realize that I might have feelings for him that go beyond friendship, and he’s going to avoid me like the plague.” She gets up and moves to look out the wide window, eyes tracing sightlessly over the city’s skyline. “Or worse. What if he decides to go back to his Earth because he doesn’t want to deal with some stupid little girl’s stupid crush?”

  


_I think you’re overreacting. And also being ridiculous. And not remembering that he was definitely kissing back._

  


Caitlin pauses and takes a moment to consider. She thinks back to the moment she realized exactly what was happening, Harry hovering above her, his mouth gentle and soft against her own. His blue eyes terrified and guarded and...desperate? She shakes her head, presses the heel of her hands to her eyes. She’s just recalling what she wishes, not the facts of the situation. 

  


_I’ll give you the facts: You love him. He’s definitely interested in you. Now you need to do something about it before I do. Again._

  


“How can you know that he’s interested,” Caitlin asks, hating how small her voice sounds, how pathetic and hopeful she feels that maybe Killer Frost is right, that she stands a chance of capturing the attention of a man like Harrison Wells.

  


_Because I’m always here in the back of your head, watching everything even if you aren’t. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when he thinks you won’t notice. He’s pining, just like you. You’re both pathetically into each other, it’s sickening._

  


There is a stirring of something in her chest that might be hope, but Caitlin has bitten by that particular dog one time too many. Ronnie twice over. Her mother. Hunter Zolomon. Her father. How many times can you break a heart before the pieces are too small to fit back together?

  


“He’s too important to lose, so there’s nothing I can do about this. I won’t risk it, not again,” she says eventually, pressing her forehead to the glass and letting her eyes slide shut in a desperate attempt to stem the burning behind her eyes. 

  


“Won’t risk what again?”

  


Caitlin spins around, hand pressed to her chest as if it will prevent her heart from escaping her chest. Harry stands just inside the doorway, hands in his pockets. He posture is stiff and unwelcoming, but his eyes are riveted to her face, studying her as closely as a specimen under a microscope.

  


For a long moment, Caitlin stares blankly at the very man who has been consuming her thoughts, and her mind flashes to the kiss, how his hair felt between her fingers. She can feel herself blushing, but she can’t think of anything to say to make this situation easier There’s no way to back out of this gracefully and with her heart intact. Instead she asks, “How long were you standing there?” This situation could only get worse if he had heard what she and Frost had been discussing.

  


“I was actually trying to find you,” Harry says as he steps further into the room, moving around the couch until he’s within arm’s reach. Caitlin crosses her arms over her chest, wishing she could reach out to him but dreading how he might respond. “I was in the workshop, trying to distract myself, but I couldn’t stop thinking about--” He stops, scrubbing at his face with a frustrated gesture. 

  


“I need to talk to you about what happened, to try to explain. And then I found you in here, arguing with Frost, I suppose? And I didn’t mean to listen, but I did. And then I remembered something.”

  


Harry looks at her, and his gaze is intense in a way that makes her feel as though he can see directly into her mind. He takes another step forward, close enough that Caitlin has to tilt her head back slightly to hold his stare. “Frost said something to me, just before she kissed me.” Harry’s voice is low, contemplative. Caitlin can hear her own pulse rushing in her ears. “She told me I better not hurt you or she’d make me regret it. What did she mean, Snow?”

  


_Seriously, Frost, you gave him the shovel talk?_

  


_Just looking out for you, babe._

  


Caitlin swallows nervously. Her voice comes out barely more than a whisper when she replies. “Because she’s decided to play matchmaker, at the expense of my humiliation, apparently.”

  


“And why would she do that?”

  


Caitlin supposes that now may as well be the time to place all her cards on the table, seeing as it’s too late to try and pretend otherwise. “Because she knows that I care about you,” she says in a rush, eyes clenched shut so that she doesn’t have to see his response to her confession. Harry doesn’t say anything, and the silence presses like a cement block on her chest, crushing the breath from her lungs. This is it, the end of her friendship with Harry--

  


Large hands, warm and calloused, gently cup her cheeks, and Caitlin’s eyes fly open. Harry has moved closer at some point, and he stands close enough that she can practically feel the heat from his body. He’s looking at her like she’s something precious, a warmth and hunger in his blue eyes that truly knocks the breath out of Caitlin’s chest and leaves her reeling. 

  


“Caitlin.” Her name, spoken in such a hushed reverent tone, nearly sets her to trembling. “I need to be sure- I have to know for certain what you mean.” His hands slide down her jawline to her neck; Caitlin grabs onto the dark material of his sweater, trying desperately to ground herself.

  


She takes a deep breath to steady herself, and her senses are suddenly full of his scent. “I care about you, Harry. A lot. And I have for a long time now.” Caitlin tries to break from his gaze, but he won’t let her look away. Now it’s as though she’s broken the dam and she can’t stop herself from continuing. “I’ve been so afraid that you would find out, and you would be uncomfortable, or that you would end up resenting me and leaving for good. And I wouldn’t be able to take that, Harry, not after everything- everyone- that I’ve lost. I can’t stand to lose another person I love.”

  


Harry smiles, just a small up-turning of the corners of his lips, but it’s warm and genuine in a way that Caitlin has only ever seen when he’s with Jesse. “You talk too much, Snow.”

  


And then he leans down, pressing his lips to hers, soft and heartbreakingly sweet. Caitlin sighs against his mouth, every muscle in her body threatening to turn to liquid with relief and desire. She presses closer to Harry, hands sliding around his waist to clutch at his back, and she hears him make a small, hungry noise in the back of his throat.

  


Suddenly it feels as though she can’t get close enough. Caitlin opens her mouth under his, and he deepens the kiss, one hand drifting back to thread through her hair and the other dropping down to the curve of her hip. Harry pulls her flush against him, and she shudders helplessly against the overwhelming heat of his body. This is everything Caitlin always imagined it could be, yet still not enough. She wishes she could crawl inside his skin, let his warmth fill her entirely.

  


They break the kiss when the need to come up for air becomes too much, and the pair stares at one another, chests rising and falling as they try to catch their breath. Harry closes his eyes and presses his forehead to hers, and Caitlin lets her own eyes slide shut, simply basking in the feel of being held in his embrace.

  


“That was...unexpected,” she manages to say eventually. Harry laughs into her hair, breathless and affectionate.

  


Slowly, Harry draws away so that he can look at Caitlin, though his hands remain firmly planted on her hip and neck. She can feel his thumb brush gently back and forth over the sensitive skin behind her ear, and Caitlin fights the urge to melt back against him.

  


“I would say that that was a rather long time coming,” Harry says softly. At Caitlin’s questioning look, he continues. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long, Caitlin.”

  


“But you never gave any indication that you were ever interested in more than friendship.” 

  


He laughs again, but it’s more bitter, self-deprecating. “And why would I? I’m much older than you, I’m from an entirely different Earth, and my personality has never been what one could call pleasant. I wasn’t going to risk exposing my feelings if there was even the slightest chance that it would make you uncomfortable.” He pauses, cupping her cheek and tilting her face so that he can study her features. Caitlin studies him too, and for the first time she can see the same insecurities and fears that have plagued her reflected in the pale blue of Harry’s eyes.

  


“I don’t care that you’re older than me,” she tells him, reaching up to grip the wrist of the hand on her face. Harry’s eyes never leave hers. “I don’t care that you’re from a different Earth.” She turns just enough to press a soft kiss to the inside of his wrist, and she’s gratified to hear his breath leave him in a rush, as if she’s delivered a physical blow. “And as for your personality…”

  


Caitlin looks down, suddenly bashful, but if there were ever a time to lay all her cards on the table, it would be now. “Harry, you’re funny and so intelligent that I swear, some days you could run circles around the rest of us.” She looks up at him through her lashes and smiles. “And you’re loyal to the people you care about, even to the point of jeopardizing your own safety. You’re a good man, Harry.”

  


Almost as soon as the words trip off her tongue, he’s kissing her again, desperate and wild, and Caitlin is swept away by the urgency of his lips and tongue.

  


“I hope you realize that you’re stuck with me now,” he growls as he breaks away to press hot, open-mouth kisses along her jaw. Caitlin nearly swoons, knees turning to putty at his rough, rasping tone. 

  


_Just remember to invite me to the wedding_ , comes the smug whisper of Killer Frost in Caitlin’s mind.

  


Caitlin smothers a breathless laugh, and returns Harry’s kisses with a new-found joy.

  


She honestly has no idea what she would do without her other half.

  



End file.
